Liamber Alert

someone apparently read my brain and started up the greatest website of all time, rottenneighbor.com. Go there and share, help a muthafucka out.

BTW, I am currently building out a new blog, its gonna be amazing, stay tuned faithful readers.

Labels: rotten neighbor

no, not gonna be writing about my own wedding.......been out of touch lately, been working a lot and have not had a chance to point at as many things as I normally would have liked. This past weekend I flew back to the east coast for Shannon's friends wedding. I flew into JFK early on Friday morning, hopped on the LIRR out to Stony Brook, had a nice little breakfast with my mom and then tried to catch a few z's. When I woke up I went to a little deli near my parents house and got a roast beef sub, wow, I miss good deli sandwiches, that is something that San Diego just does not have, good deli's. I went out for a few beers with an old friend that night, then it was up at the crack of dawn for the long drive up to New Hampshire with my folks for the long awaited meeting of the Mbuthia-Chapman families. They seemed to get along really well, which Shannon and I were just thrilled about. We even had time to slip out and go see an old roommate from college who is living and working in Manchester, the next town over from Londonderry where the Chapman's live. Sunday morning we woke up and had a great breakfast in the backyard, then it was off to Ipswich, Massachusetts for Shannon and I for Sarah & Cliff's wedding.......the ceremony was really interesting, Sarah is Russian Orthodox, so the ceremony was at her respective Church.....during their weddings you stand the entire time, a nice little twist, the Church itself was old and quaint, one thing that I just cannot get over is the rich and long history that is everywhere in Massachusetts, history is something that San Diego doesn't have a lot of as well.....the B&B we stayed at in Ipswich was across the street from a Civil War monument erected in 1871 for the towns residents who had perished during the war. The reception was a lot of fun, and I was more than happy to get a chance to really get to know some of Shannon's closest friends, I have heard so much about them all these years, and to actually talk and get to know them for myself was a real treat. After some late night wine guzzling after the reception back at the B&B, it was off to bed only to awaken early the next morning to catch my flight back here to San Diego. All in all it was a great trip, I have really gotten to appreciate weddings more and more as my own is fast approaching......lest I forget, big-ups to Jed from work, his wedding was July 13th here in San Diego, him and Shannon (not my Shannon) make a wonderful couple, again the ceremony was great and the reception was loads of fun, so congrats to all the newlyweds, and I promise I will get back to pointing at things pronto.

Some of you have met my hyperactive pooch named Lucy, she is a 4 year old Black Lab/Boxer who is faster than an dog known to man, but what some of you may not know is that Lucy has severe identity issues. My sweet pup will often pee like a male dog, meaning, she will lift her leg to urinate, I have no idea why she does this, maybe she is a lesbian. She also hates it when any dogs try to get on her back to have a little friendly hump action, which isn't a big deal, but she will then get on the same dog and hump it like it's got the answers she craves. The humping issue clearly can be taken as a dominance issue, which is why most dogs hump in the first place, buuuut you don't see too many female dogs hump as feverishly as she does.

Lately, Lucy has been sitting on the back of chairs like cats often do. Shannon and I don't really care, but I am concerned that my dog now believes that she is a cat, look below:

Labels: things I point at

Last weekend , I went out on Saturday night with a few of my buddies in PB, a few minutes after I left, Shannon took Lucy out to pee and found this note on our door:
The note reads:

Bernard,

Stop destroying marriages and committing sin, God is watching and don't you think you will ever be free from what you have done to my family. One day we will face each other. God bless.

Now as some of you may know, my name is Liam, I live with my fiancee Shannon, and we have a dog named Lucy. I do not know anyone named Bernard, but I do know a Gerard, so maybe they are now interchangeable. Whatever this guy did in the past must be pretty bad for this unknown person to leave this ridiculous note on our door. Our neighbors, all of whom have lived in this condo complex for a several years, told us that there was never anyone living here named Bernard, and for good measure, there have been no Gerard's either.

If anyone reading this knows someone named Bernard who is breaking up marriages, please ask him to stop. If your name is Bernard and you are banging a married lady, please update her spouse of your new address.

You know who might be a Bernard? This guy:

Labels: things I point at

Shannon and I recently received the above named film from Netflix the other day, I had honestly forgotten that I had it in my queue. I was pretty excited to watch it since I am a huge fan of the Broken Lizard guys, well, I am a huge fan of Super Troopers, their other movies were nothing to write home about. So the movie gets here and I am pretty excited to watch it, I haven't seen a decent comedy in a while and I have been letting Netflix get the best of me, I keep the movies for too damn long so my instead of abusing the system, i am allowing it to abuse me. Shannon refused to watch it with me since she had begun to watch it the last time she was back In New Hampshire with her dad and they both ended up falling asleep during it, and she is as big of a fan of comedies as I am, so the fact that the movie allowed her to doze off was a bad sign.

So I had to watch the movie one late night after Shannon had gone off to bed.....it started off well enough, then quickly went downhill. I was able to stay awake for the duration of the film, but more than a few times I pondered turning it off and just sending it back, but I pushed on. When the movie finally ended, I felt as though someone had broken into my home, cut open my brain, and sprinkled dumb powder all over it, then forgot to stitch it back up, so my head was open, my brain exposed, and was oozing mind fluid and dumb powder. I expect more from the guys who made Super Troopers, that movie is a classic and will always be on of my favorites, but what the fuck are the boys of Broken Lizard trying to pull? Honestly, I have no budget with which to make a major motion picture, but I could hire a few retards from the local "special house" and let them run around for a few hours and have a film that is both more creative and funnier. Huge disappointment, not all movies are gonna bring the funny like Super Troopers, but this was not even in the same mold, it's like some evil alien came in and write this film and threatened the guys to make it or else they would destroy our planet. The scenes were so forced, the laughs were visible a mile away, you could see everything coming 10 minutes before it actually did.

I have not written off the geniuses of Broken Lizard, but I have put them on probation.....If any of you are thinking about watching Beer Fest, do yourself a favor and go take a $5 bill and burn it, it will save time and the end result will be the same.

A lot of media attention lately has been given to the young Hollywood starlets who are seemingly bottoming out at a record pace. The stories are bouncing between Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, CNN and Reuters are now covering their downward spiral, and while I respect most news outlets, the stories they are covering are pretty lame. If we are so mystified by the daily mistakes that the pretty and privileged kids in Hollywood make, then we should turn to E! News, not CNN, but I am assuming that viewers have made enough of a stink to these accredited media outlets that they had no choice but to give in and give the people what they want; daily tabloid fodder ahead of the real news. Me blogging about it isn't helping, so I am going to stop right now.

This evening after dining on a remarkable din din of Turkey Stromboli from Trader Joe's, Shannon and I lazily sat in the living room channel surfing and we came across ABC's Dancing With The Stars. I have never watched this show as I don't care to watch people dancing, but since this was the final episode, we decided to tune in for a little bit. Being an avid reader of Andy Denhart's "Reality Blurred" blog, I am always kept up to snuff on the latest reality shows and the hi jinx they bring, so I was well aware that Mario Lopez, aka AC Slater, was a former contestant on this show who ended up dating his dance partner.......before I would say that was quite the scandal, but after seeing a little bit of this show tonight, I think the exact opposite. Any style of dancing is overly sensual and has sexual overtones in every hip shake and mule kick, it oozes sex and quite honestly gives you a full-on view of what that person is like when the shades are drawn and the clothes come off, it is one of the simplest mating rituals known to man. Think about it, anytime you go out and see a guy dancing who seems to know what he is doing, the ladies hang on them like undie fuzz to my sack in the morning, they are never leaving alone when the night ends......the same goes for girls only not as obvious, guys swarm girls in any setting so it's not as noticeable. Watching Apollo Anton Ohno and Joey Fatone strut their stuff tonight with their amazingly trampy hot dance partners, I could not shake the idea that they must be humping each other like crazy. I do not know if either man is in a relationship, but they spend hours a day dancing, caressing, sweating and talking with each other, boners must arise every now and again.....I am a one woman guy and always will be, but I would be lying if I said that if some slutty hot girl with rhythm was rubbing her hindquarters in my crotch for a few hours each day, that I wouldn't be turned on. Mario Lopez was not the exception, he should have been the rule, when these guys get paired up with their dance partners, their first exercise should be baby-making practice followed by a turkey sandwich and chocolate milk, just get that part out of the way and the rest should fall into place naturally. Once you have had sex with someone, which I have, MULTIPLE times, you are more comfy around them, you don't worry about accidentally grazing their boobs while doing the tango, or putting your hand in the yo-yo zone when lifting them over your head, you have already been nakedly awkward with them naked, so a little touch here and a little tap there are no big deal.

Of course, you can't talk about dancing without mentioning the greatest dancer of our time.....I took this pic while I was up in LA at the OnHollywood conference a few weeks back, I was just walking and happened upon this magical square of greatness, behold his finest tribute:

Labels: things I point at